Q: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
A: You wouldn't believe it if we told you.

For India Lowres, director of Commencement, an entire year's work all comes down to a single day. Though amazingly level-headed, even Lowres is prone to middle-of-the-night panic attacks in the weeks leading up to the big event.

What if the diplomas get lost? Suppose the infamous "Streaker" decides to make another appearance this year? What happens if the septic system chooses that particular day to overflow? And don't even mention the potential for weather disasters — extreme heat, blinding rain, thunder, lightning, tornadoes...

Lest you think that Lowres is someone who just likes to borrow trouble, consider the following real-life disasters that actually have occurred at Johns Hopkins Commencement in recent years:

The table holding the PhD diplomas got blown over, sending all the diplomas flying into the wind.

A keynote speaker lost his contact lens just before the ceremony. (Thankfully, an emergency trip to the Wilmer Eye Clinic fixed things just in time.)

The elevator to the robing room got stuck with the caterer inside.

When the customary red carpet failed to arrive, planners had to rush to Bill's Carpet Barn so that the visiting foreign dignitary would have something suitable to walk upon.

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